The Relationship: Marriage and Monogamy

Hello again!

I know that most of you are awaiting my potentially terrible short stories, but as I am new to the whole thing, I’m taking a little more care and consideration. So I hope you guys are okay with waiting a little longer to make fun of me.

I was watching House the other day, an american medical drama featuring an anti-social, narcissistic Dr. House, played by British actor Hugh Laurie. It is an amazing show, highlighting how our interactions with others can be seen objectively and the lies we tell to live our lives with relative ease. One particular episode, ‘Open and Shut’, focusses on a patient who is in an open marriage, and how others see it. Many saw it as some form of betrayal, or just plain weird. Others, mainly men, were curious about such an arrangement as they saw it as a way to have sex with other women without being unfaithful to their wives/partners.

There are obviously many different arguments about this topic, but honestly, I don’t see the big deal. So what that some people need others to gratify them sexually whilst appreciating that they love their partner? Surely that understanding, and being open and honest about it is better then separating or cheating?

Unless you count any kind of sexual deviation cheating- irrelevant of whether the partner knows and is okay with it. But that seems like your asking for trouble…

Honestly, I would love to hear others opinions on this. Whenever I talk to people who have been cheated on or whatever, they always say that the biggest betrayal is that they were lied to. So as long as there isn’t any lying- is it really a bad thing?

I guess it depends on how you view marriage. A Marxist would say that monogamous marriage is just an  early form of inheritance system, so it insures that those who inherit land and wealth is the definite biological offspring of those who obtained the wealth to begin with. Whereas Conservatives would argue that a stable, ‘normal’ marriage is the cornerstone for an upright stable society. But can that really be the case? Can two people, normally one man and one women if you believe the conservative view, being in a monogamous relationship really be the only way to have a healthy, industrious society? What does that say to societies that recognise polygamous marriages as the norm, like Algeria or Eygpt? Are their societies abnormal or unhealthy? Are they any healthier? Or is marriage really just a social construction to help our society have some form of arbitrary structure and judgement?

Sorry, this is slightly turning into a Sociology essay… Back to the point.

Maybe that isn’t the crucial element of monogamy. It could just be who your partner feels about the whole thing. If your partner feels sucky about you getting it on with someone else and it emotionally hurts them, does it really make a difference what the social point of marriage is?

I’d love to hear your points of view about this whole thing and whether marriage is really just about being monogamous or whether it only makes it easier knowing were all your stuff goes when you die.

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3 thoughts on “The Relationship: Marriage and Monogamy

  1. I used to wonder if I could be monogamous, but when I was wondering it, I was having an affair. I think that peoples’ opinions on this subject will relate closely to their personal experiences.

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    1. I think you definitely have a point. Personal experiences do change the way we view alternate ways of lifestyle, but I guess to have those thoughts or to experience that lifestyle you had to have considered these kind of questions.., It just really struck me how this kind of issue seems to be so controversial and so embedded on your own beliefs, but at the same time is so rarely discussed… But maybe I’m reading too much into it (: .x.

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      1. No, I agree that it is rarely discussed. It needs to be. The problem with “all of us” (if I can be so general) is that we are just starting to throw these items for discussion out onto the street to talk about…and it’s rush hour. We can’t be afraid to do it…because the next generation needs to get over this!!

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